the cliff and the void

            It is getting late; I should be going soon.  Yet I cannot pull myself away.  I am on the threshold once again and I have to decide if I will jump into the void or stay safe on the cliff.  It isn’t like this cliff is made of unstable material.  My life has been built on this cliff in many ways and there is a foundation that can equate success if I continue to firm up the foundation.  Yet the void lingers.  I have not forgotten that void; there is something about the darkness that beckons to us all.  I stare into the darkness and it is cold, yet in that coldness is a familiarity that is welcome.  It is okay if I don’t always feel warm.  Sometimes the cold is what I want.

            The cliff became smaller for a while.  Or perhaps it is that I just forgot how far down it went.  If you look at the other side you start to see flat land and you forget that there is a steep drop.  I often sit and look at that safe side; confident that I am secure in my comfortable bed and my well lit rooms.  I don’t bother to look out the back; I know what is out there and I don’t want to risk what I have gained.

            Yet there are times like tonight that I am drawn to the cliff once again.  I ponder the jump and the dark.  I long to see if the void is a deep as it always was and if I can get lost in it once again.  There is a power to it that you don’t find on the safe side.  The free fall that gives you a queer sense of purpose.  You forget that there is sleep to be had and food to be consumed and an adult life to be had.  You see the thrill ride and the night time and when you are a creature of the night you never get scared.  Unless you look back to the safe side again……

            

Who or what do you follow?

I just read Joshua 24:15.  It says that you should choose who your family is going to worship whether it be the gods of your ancestors or not but for Joshua; he is going to follow the Lord.  I realize that I have paraphrased that quite a bit but you get the idea of the passage.
For those of you who follow this blog you obviously know that I am a Christian and I follow the Lord as well.  But it this passage got me thinking today.
I follow the Lord, you may choose not to.  You may follow Buddha, or Mohammed, or Ganesh, or someone else.  But do you have a god or God?  Do you follow the teachings and the ideals of a person?  Do you try and live a good life according to those laws?
I think that for a long time everyone would have said "of course".
But is that changing?
Perhaps the reason why there are so many problems right now is that people aren't following a higher power anymore but just themselves.
If you just do what is best for you; how good is the world going to be?  6 billion people out there only thinking of themselves and not each other.  That will make the world a better place alright!
While I haven't studied the major religions extensively I have noticed that they all pretty much want you to act in a healthy and generous way toward your fellow human beings.
But if you think you are the center of the universe and you are the one that matters the most then you aren't going to take the extra time to think of your neighbor if it doesn't coincide with what you want to have happen to yourself at any given moment.
An easier way to say that is that people who only think of themselves don't care who they step on or squash as long as they get their way.
If we all would work on loving and helping our neighbor a little more and thinking of what is the best for everyone and not just ourselves (and everyone did that) then just think of what the world could be like......
That could be a place that we would all want to live and live well in.

On the Way to Church

I woke up early this morning to go to church.  It was rather foggy out.
I traveled highway 14 as I usually do and I was watching the sun come up as I drove.  I had Scott Krippayne on the cd player (if you don't know who he is, christian rock) and I was just cruising along thinking about the bible study I was going to and the fact that I was becoming an official member of Centenary UMC today.
As I drove through the fog the sun was shining like a beacon guiding me along through the fog.  It was such a nice moment because it is like a metaphor for when we all travel through life in what sometimes feels like a fog.  Through the hard to see area shines a light that can guide us through and bring us warmth and comfort.  It was a nice feeling.

spelling does count!

I know I am not a great speller.  But I am a decent one usually.  Sometimes I have to write things out to see if they look right or wrong.  And no matter what I make sure the words are correct after I have finished a sentence.

What in the world has happened to the spelling in the world?  I don't know when it started but bad spelling is driving me nuts!

I have no proof but part of me wonders if part of the problem is the tendency for people to abbreviate words.
LOL, TTYL, FYI, and others have become so common place in our society that nobody bothers to spell words anymore.  Other things like "U 2" instead of "you too" also are like this.
(to, too, and two are one of the ones that drive me nuts because it seems like more and more kids don't know the difference between them!)

No matter what the cause, bad spelling drives me crazy.  Do people not realize how dumb you sound when you cannot spell correctly?  Is it just me that is bothered by this?

I shudder to think of what business owners and managers have to go through when they look at applications.

Is the world really getting dumber or is it just becoming so lazy that it doesn't care about things like this?

Harry Potter vs. the Nazis?!?!?!?

The Twins were busy getting their butts handed to them by the Angels this afternoon so tonight when I usually turn on the game while I make dinner I had to find something else to watch instead.
ABC Family channel is running Harry Potter movies this weekend I guess so I watch The Goblet of Fire.

I have seen this movie before and I have read the books.  But tonight I noticed something for the first time about the schools participating in the Tri-Wizard tournament.

Am I the only one out there that has never noticed before this that we have a reference to battles between European countries?

Hogwarts, which is Harry's school is located in England.  The basis of all the Harry Potter books is based in England and that works because I believe the author is from England herself.

In the story there are 2 more schools that visit Hogwarts to participate in the tournament.

Beauxbatons (not sure of the spelling, I don't have the books in front of me) is the school from France.  You can tell this by their school name, their accents, and the names of the teacher and students.

Durmstrang is the other school.  While the books and the movie never reference this place to be in Germany there is definitely a "German flavor" to the participants from this school.
The spelling and pronunciation of this school suggest German or Prussian background as well as the main student, a young man with the name of Viktor Krum.

During the Tri-Wizard tournament these three countries compete with each country having a role.

The English school, which is of course the good guys, comes out in first place in the tournament in the events and while they have adversity they manage to pull through with bravery and determination.
The German school seems to be their main competition and in the story the German student goes as far as to become bewitched and to attack the English and French competitors.  (The German attacks the French first and defeats them as the English comes to the rescue a little too late to save the initial attack but is able to assist after it takes place.  WW II anyone?)
The French school has the weakest competitor and while resilient she just doesn't have the ability to take the competitions head on and requires help from the English on a regular basis in order to survive.

To throw another kicker in there the teacher and helper of the German is Igor Karkaroff which is a Russian name origin.  He assists in the beginning but by the end is a person of no consequence in the large scale of the specific competition.  He is however portrayed as someone that has done evil in the past and while he does acts considered vile in the beginning of the story he will run in the end, effectively terminating his aid to the German.  (Once again think Russia in WW II.  They were originally German allies to take over Poland but then when Germany attacked them they quit on them and would become a force the Germans have to worry about)

When you look at the story you have to wonder how much of the author's subconscious or even intent was to write in a way that mirrors the history of Western Civilization.

Am I the last person to notice this?  Has everyone else already thought of this and I found myself outside the discussion?  I do wonder.

To thine own self be true

I am 32 and I have been up and down.  I have gone through a roller coaster of a life and the younger me is very much different than the me of now.  I don't know if I would call it growing up or just defining myself as who I truly am.
I think that we all go through a stage like this in some ways.  I know some people take longer than others and some people they know from such a young age you wonder if they changed at all.
But one of the things I think of is the fact that I know what I love and don't love.

It is just sometimes I forget.

I have a quote board at school.  Once a week a new quote goes up.  Every Monday to be precise.
This is the one I started with.

I think that it is important to sit back and think about this every once in a while.  Because as I go through life watching movies or reading books or just watching other people I want to be various things.  Or I want to be various people.
But I know that ultimately a lot of those people aren't me and I am never going to be them.

So what I really need to do is sit back and remember to be true to myself.  What I love I love for a reason and I need to have my life revolve around that.

For me personally, that is God and faith.  Then softball.  Then music.  There are others that come close after and many things I enjoy.  But these are my top 3.
I need to stop thinking of other things in my life that don't seem to be as important and remember that what makes me happy is those things and those are what I need to do.  And I need to stop concerning myself with things that I sometimes think of but aren't one of my true loves.

As long as I put God first, then enjoy my softball I am going to have to make sure I leave the rest behind.  Those are my true loves and they have never let me down.

To thine own self be true.

Everyone should find their own selves no matter who they are and be true to what they are and stop trying to be what they are not.
That is what I think.

alcohol free

My knee injury has had me on antibiotics for 20 days now.  And for another 10.

So it has been 20 days since I have had any alcohol because alcohol doesn't mix with medications.

I don't miss it.

I am not going to become and advocate of only non-alcoholic beverages.  And it wasn't like I was a drunk before this.  But it is funny that I have had no urge at all to have a beer or a shot or even wine (and you who know me I am kind of snobbish about my wine).

I just thought of this randomly right now so just wanted to say that it is not the worst thing in the world to not drink.