I have really spent the last few weeks looking very carefully at people. I know that with my state of mind I was being rather observant and I wasn't just looking inward.
I have noticed lately that I know a lot of people that really make me sad inside.
While I have had ups and downs in my life I generally find myself happy and satisfied. I deeply trust my friends and when I know they are there for me I truly do let them in on my whole life if they want. I know they won't let me down when I really need the help.
As I look around me lately I have noticed that there are quite a few people in my life (not necessarily good friends but just people around me) that are either very negative or very cynical (or both).
I know that I can be both of those things as well and I know that we are all like that when things are frustrating and it seems like the world is pushing against us.
Perhaps it is because God is so central in my life; perhaps it is that I have seen that most of the time things work out for me and I don't have to worry too much about them (yes I know concerts still freak me out so I have my own problems with this); perhaps I just don't like being negative and cynical. But no matter what I find it sad that there are so many people out there that this seems to be the predominant thought processes every day.
While you see what you want to see and your past has made you what you are, I just can't feel the same way. I don't have a get other people before they can get you attitude and I don't think that people are out to ruin my day. I don't feel like I can be cynical about other people all the time and talk about how they are just doing awful in everything and I am doing wonderful and they are almost out to be lazy and stupid. I think we are all trying and sometimes we don't get as much done because we aren't as talented or we are having a bad time but I like to think that each of us does our best to go home every day knowing we tried. Maybe I am wrong or naive but I like to think that most people are out there doing that.
I am also saddened by people that are always negative. Or usually negative. They seem to have one subject that they can talk about that is positive and the rest of life just sucks all the time. They can only take a small bit of happiness from the few meager things they have in life.
I just don't see it the same way I guess.
Perhaps I am just simple but I am mostly happy where I am. I know I wouldn't mind having a bit more money or being a bit more handsome or having a wonderful woman to call a wife or at least a girlfriend but I have a job working with some very good kids, I am getting paid more than a lot of people out there (and those credit card bills are my fault so I really can't complain when I ate so much pizza in college :P), I have a roof over my head and while it isn't the Hilton it is warm and I have tv to watch and internet to surf the web and I even get out with friends once every couple months. I have books to read and I have some video games to play and I have time to write in my blog here. I have food that keeps me full and even though I don't always get to eat whatever I want it isn't like I am eating lousy food, I just don't get to eat steak or lobster on a regular basis.
There is so much to be thankful in my life I don't see how I can complain too much. And I feel sad that some people think they have it so bad.
I don't know, maybe my tastes are just simple right now too.
I realize that in complaining about people that complain I am putting myself right into that same category and I see the irony in it. haha
I guess I have it better than most people. I could have had nothing. I was born and could have been in an orphanage for years and grown to hate people. Instead I was adopted by loving parents with great sisters and have made friends that I would lay down my life for and they would do a ton for me in return as well.
I am generally healthy, I get to watch some baseball and play some softball, I have got to go sailing and camping and fishing and I get to read good books. I have a fun car and I get to eat most of what I want if I just save some money and make it special occasions.
I am glad I don't have to be negative or cynical all my life and I wish I knew what I could do to help show those people the way to happiness. For now though, I will stand by and be happy I don't have to look at life through such dreary circumstances. It makes me sad for them that their lives are so rotten.
But I feel lucky I have what I do.