Sunday, January 23, 2011

Real Friends?/Facebook "friends"

I am so thankful for real friends.  People who want you there even when you are not at your best.  I have some great friends who are always looking out for me.  I know in high school you make friends but most of those you don't keep if you go on to college.  Simply put, you go your separate ways and find your own lives.  And I know  you make friends in college and many more of those will last longer because you are in fields of work and careers that stay similar.  But they too will drift as they find jobs in different parts of the world and most will find a spouse and have kids and that leads to different phases of life depending on when you have them and what they are into.  But the friends you regularly work with and spend time with after college are the ones that you will be with the most and therefore if you can find good friends in that area of your life things go well.  (I think they are also more mature and that helps too that you don't have that young person's drama to deal with)
I have taken a long look lately at my "friends" and seen some things that I don't always like.  I have some very dear friends and then I know people that it seems they aren't my friend except when it suits them.  I am a friend of convenience rather than a friend of life through thick and thin.  I am not sure I like this.
As you go through life you need to know who you can trust and depend on and those people should be your friends.  If you can't trust and depend on them to be there for you then are they really a close friend?  That is really a question I can't answer because I think it isn't just a yes or a no but many different grey areas built in.
I think that it may be different for everybody but I know where I need it to be for myself.
I, who feel many times my close friends are few and far between, want to be a friend to my friends and if they aren't going to be be a friend to me I should make sure I know that.  Because if you can't trust someone to be there for you when you need it you aren't sure when they are ever there for you.  And when trust isn't there you don't want to have to depend on them and be let down in your greatest hour of need.
I hope my friends know they can count on me to be there as much as I can for them no matter what.  I want to be able to help them not because they may repay me but because that is what friends are for.  When they get into real trouble they can always call me.  Or they can call me to just to say what's up or I am bored or I am lonely.  I am there for them.

Facebook has become something I am starting to get annoyed with when it comes to friends.  All these people want to friend you and then they request it and you accept it and then..................nothing.  Why in the world did you friend that person if you have no reason to?  Do you want to look at your friend list and say look I have 8 billion friends?  Do you need to have someone on there so you can keep tabs on them?  Do you add those people you want to actually talk to or just is it a contest?  If we have no reason to keep being friends on facebook should I really keep you on as a friend?  If you really want me to be your friend on there wouldn't you like to say hi sometime?
I can understand some friendships.  I have softball players on there myself and contacting them for tournaments is what I do.  When I don't need to talk to them for softball we don't talk that often because we don't have that much else in common.  It isn't that they are bad people but we just have different walks of life. That is an understanding and that is fine.  But I have people that have sent me a friend request and then I never hear from them for any reason.  And if I comment on their wall or send them a message they don't return my messages anyways.  So why are we friends on facebook?  If you don't call, you don't email, and now you don't facebook is there a reason we need to see what each other are doing?  Do you really even go on my facebook page?  Am I just there so you can brag about your numbers?  Am I there so you can petition me for the latest game that you need to invite friends to get points for?  Why? Why? Why?

I have some friends that I talk to here and there and we don't keep contact a lot but we do enough that we know where each other are.  That is fine.  I don't mind that we are like that; we both often follow the same thread of logic about our lives and we happily communicate when we can or have a reason to.  Those people I know and trust for that very reason.  Others I am not so sure.

So are we friends?  Are we really?  Why are we?  Do you have me on facebook and if so why?
Just thinks me thoughts.

1 comment:

  1. I just stumbled back upon this for the first time in a long time... Don't worry Erik; I'm your friend and can be called upon whenever! Hope you know that!